5 Signs You Might Not Be Listening Actively
Check if your active listening techniques don’t boil down to just uhu-s and mmm-s, and how so-s
It may often happen so that, even if we’re following closely what the speaker is saying we still may be missing their feelings and, as a result, the message behind words. On the other hand, if we focus on speaker’s feelings too much, we may miss important factual information. So, how do we balance between listening to words and simultaneously checking in with the speaker’s feelings?
Apparently, non verbal language is among the things that can boost active listening. Open body language, smiling and eye-contact along with letting the speaker finish their point without interruptions aid a lot to be on the same wavelength with each other. However, non-verbal tools alone are unlikely to do the trick.
So, here are 5 techniques that would add nicely to your active listening skills (or at least, give you an understanding of what it is you can do to listen effectively):
- CLARIFY & EXPLORE
Tell me more…Why did you have concerns about…? How would you describe an ideal outcome?
2. GIVE FEEDBACK
That interesting to know…I see you’re disappointed…
3. CHECK UNDERSTANDING
What do you mean by…? I’m not sure I understand what you mean by…I’m not clear about how it happenned
4. CORRECT
That’s not what I said…Sorry, that’s not what I meant
5. SUMMARISE & PARAPHRASE
So, it’s important for you to be involved, right?…So, you had a disagreement with your colleague…So, what you’re saying is…
By way of summary, although in many cases we listen to respond, listening to hear can become an indispensable tool which ultimately leads to better understanding in a variety of ways:
better understanding of the situation described;
better understanding of the person talking;
better understanding of oneself;
better understanding of the relationship you have with the person you’re listening to, as well as…
better understanding (which comes to the person talking) of what they’re really trying to say, or how they actually feel about the situation they’re describing.
